Testimony by Jay Mark M. Malirong

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Have you encountered problem and you don't know how to solve it? Have you experienced when you are a kid when your grandmother let you to go in church and you don't want? And have you experience to blame to God of what the life you have right now? When I was a little kid, I was afraid to go to church. I remember that I only went to church during Simbang Gabi and Flores de Mayo because after the mass and Flores de Mayo, a warm snack would be waiting for me. May be I only go to church twice a year because I thought I was just wasting my time attending mass every Sundays, and playing is my passion instead. Because when you're a kid, you don't want to do anything else but to play the whole afternoon and afterwards when you're a messed your parents would have the "pamalo". And I still remember when my grandmother insisted me to go to church with her every Sunday so she would have to went too, but I'm wise because I wouldn’t go unless she gave me a snack or pay me five pesos. It's funny, like I don't looked myself before because of What I for my grandmother. But, that was the greatest memory that I'd never forget from her.

A decades where it felts like I have no longer believed in Jesus because my parents were separated, I always blamed him for what happened to my parents and I always thought it’s unfair that I never got to experience having a complete family. During celebrations like Christmas, birthdays, and New Year, I don’t felt the joy because I don’t see my family together, sharing a meal at the dining table. I got jealous to those people who have their complete family sharing foods at the dining table. Even though my aunties invite us to joined to them to eat, but we cannot felt it of having complete family although they were trying to let us experience it again but we cannot feel it anymore, because we want to see broken pieces of mirror's will back. Because my parents were separated my siblings were always arguing because they only thought they don't have a parents to guide them in to the right path. For some, this kind of problem would be easy to solve but to those who experience like me it is not easy as they think.  

During my senior high school I was so lucky, I thought I was the lucky one because I found one girl that made me feel "it's okay for having tough time" through with her it made me realized to surrender to God all the problem I brought for a decades. Through with her it encourage me to go to church every sunday, because I thought if I go to church there is a possibility that she will be mine, because the man that she is looking for is the religious man that loves God. I am just admiring her from afar and many girls that I have been rejected just for her, but at the end the day she broke my heart. But I was thankful to her for helping me to heal my broken heart and to fixed and assembled the broken mirror. However, for a very short time I thought that's would be enough for making my life different than my past. Also, I learned from her to put God first and surrender all the problem to him, I also learned to believed in God, because God is everything, and God is the most powerful. I was always praying that someday my parents will be okay, today I was thankful for what I have right now even though my parents were not okay but I was thankful because they were not arguing everyday just like in the past, and it slowly heal my heart and thankful because I achieved of what I am praying for. 

Today, despite everything problems I faced I was thankful for what the lesson I gained from it. I understood God gives you a problem for you to be able you to learn, grow, and to discover yourself and he will never give the problem if he sees that you cannot handle it. Don't think the problem like a negative instead set is as your motivation and always think optimistically that this would just a testament. A testament that will shaped your life and to achieve the personality that you are truly waiting for.